| 26 October 2009
If the Los Angeles Clippers do as they say and take Blake with the number one pick in the June 25 NBA Draft, The Beast will work for one of the biggest douches in professional sports, which is saying a lot.
Fuck you, I'm still El Jefe!
Donald Sterling, who made his bajillions by acquiring real estate in the Los Angeles area and redlining (allegedly) the units, bought the San Diego Clippers in 1981 for $12.5 million. He’s seen that asset (that’s all he considers it – a financial asset) into a $297 million franchise. Sounds like a great ROI, right? A team that Sterling has run with a green fist for almost 30 years is the #25 valued franchise in professional basketball.
Now, granted I’m a writer and fairly shortbus when it comes to numbers, but Forbes magazine isn’t:
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The Los Angeles Clippers lease at the Staples Center sums up owner Donald Sterling’s philosophy of running the franchise: maximize profits by keeping fixed costs low. The Clippers pull in less revenue from premium seating and arena advertising than the typical NBA team. But they pay only $1.5 million a season in rent at the arena, which is owned and operated by AEG, owner of the Los Angeles Kings and a minority stake in the Los Angeles Lakers. The Clippers have posted more than $9 million in operating profits the past five seasons despite fielding one of the worst teams in the league.
What that says to me is that not only will Sterling not provide corn dogs on Corn Dog Night, he won’t even go to the trouble to do the promotion in the first place.
Corn dogs, Donald! Corn dogs!
Miserly finances are just a bit part of Sterling’s asshattery, though. Here’s a brief rundown of the sterling career of one of professional sports’ biggest Scrooges:
- In 2005, he was ordered to pay $5 million to settle a lawsuit in which he refused to let non-Koreans live in his properties in Koreatown.
- Also in 2005, Sumner Davenport, hired by Sterling as property manager over a shitton of his holdings, alleged sexual harassment. Davenport alleged that Sterling “tried to kiss her and touch her breast, and he once appeared at the door of his Malibu home clad only in a towel.” Sterling responded with character assassination and was cleared of the charges.
- In 2003, he testified about a $500 a night “freak” (read: hooker) he paid to screw “all over my building, in my bathroom, upstairs, in the corner, in the elevator.” Sterling rationalized it by saying “well, I fool around sometimes.”
Sterling’s legal troubles are far from over, too. He’s now being sued by Hall of Famer, Top 50 NBA Player of All-Time and City of Angels icon, Elgin Baylor, for wrongful termination of his role as Clippers’ General Manager (a title he held for 22 years). Baylor’s letting it all hang out, too:
- Baylor alleges that Sterling wouldn’t rent to Hispanics and African-Americans in Beverly Hills because “Hispanics smoke, drink and just hang around the building” and “Black tenants smell and attract vermin.” Impressive.
- After taking Danny Manning with the #1 pick in 1988, Sterling balked at the amount of jack due the Kansas star. “I’m offering a lot of money for a poor black kid,” Sterling allegedly told Baylor.
- The reason behind the suit is just as odious: Baylor alleges he was “grossly underpaid” ($350k per year) and “unceremoniously released … on account of his age and his race.” Apparently Baylor thinks new coach and GM Mike Dunleavy’s $5 million salary is a little skewed.
Talk to the hand, Elgin.
If you have a few minutes an hour, there’s a great read in Sterling’s hometown LA Times about how his supposed philanthropic project to house the homeless is really “a troubling, ego-inflating gimmick dreamed up by a very rich man.” In fact, many in LA doubt the project even exists, except in large font sizes within expensive advertisements.
So, Blake … good luck. You’re about to get a quick lesson in the hard world of professional sports and slimeball billionaires who run the show. Our advice: play basketball to the best of your ability, sock as much money away as you can, keep your nose clean and if you do in fact end up playing for Sterling and the Clips, get the hell out of there ASAP.
