Barring a plague of locusts or a river of fire, Blake Griffin will be a Clipper tonight.

A Clipper!

While it’s great to have a Sooner going #1 – big time stuff – the fact that it is the CLIPPERS makes it kind of like winning a free cruise on the Titanic.

Some advice for Blake:

If the Los Angeles Clippers do as they say and take Blake with the number one pick in the June 25 NBA Draft, The Beast will work for one of the biggest douches in professional sports, which is saying a lot.

Shadenfreude, thy name is Dirk Nowitzki.

By now, I’m sure most of you have heard the saga of Dallas’ biggest Hasselhoff fan getting hoodwinked by professional scam artist (allegedly) and Jerry Stackhouse lookalike, Cristal Taylor. For those not living in the plasticized land of big hair and fake tits, and for those who eschew sports coverage outside of football season, here’s a brief , high-level recap:

Raise your glasses to half-full, y’all. It could be worse.

The Los Angeles junior varsity may have won the NBA draft lottery last night, but here’s hoping they do something stupid like not taking Blake with their first pick. Unfortunately for those of us who want to see Blake not only do well, but do it on a good, well-run team, we have to hope Blake falls to two or three. The Clips have a habit of not only making bad draft day decisions, but in the decisions they sometimes make in drafting good talent, they run it off.